One time I was walking my puppy, and this teen girl ahead of us was wearing a tail. He wanted to run up and grab it SO BAD. I actually had to stop and wait until she got a few blocks away to prevent a hilarious but probably ultimately embarrassing situation wherein my dog stole a person's tail.

If any of these situations end up in a storyline on Girls, we'll know Lena Dunham reads Jezebel.

She sounds like she may have been homeless.

So right after a shitty break up this summer I hit up an old booty call from OKCupid. He was really cool, but the sex. Oh god.

I don't normally advocate this but...

woops didn't mean to click that guys face ha.

A women who I met on a train back from London (took about 40 mins) as I was fairly drunk. She asked to come back to mine so I thought why not. On the way she kept groping the taxi driver and telling woeful jokes including inviting him back for a 3some. We still banged which says a lot about me (below average sex) but…

Ha! Well, those dudes were definitely a bit embarrassing in the grand scheme of things. My burrito game is always on point though.

His name was Javier and I met him when I worked at the bookstore in college. He was super hot, but that's because all he cared about in the world was his body. Good for him! Good for him. But between working out and moisturizing and hair care and trimming and and and, there was...not much left. But super hot and…

NOT YET.

Was it the iron-worker who was a secret libertarian

A white guy with the book "sensual Japanese love poems" on his shelf. He also tried telling me about his screen play :(

Got all busy on the dance floor with this hot Latin dude. We went back to his place, got naked, and we weren't even undressed two minutes and his load was all over my stomach. Expecting to continue and push through to another orgasm I stayed in bed all sexy-like preparing for more. He looked at me quizzically and…

Just for you, Jerry: the crazy Brazilian who snuck back into my room while I was sleeping (2 hours after I sent him home), the teacher fetishist, the guy with the tail, the guy who refused to talk to me in high school, annnnnnnd my second cousin. Just for starters and because you asked nicely :)

YES, that is my forever vote. And once again:

I have slept with so many embarrassing people. I made a lot of poor decisions in my late teens/early 20s. I lost my virginity to a 16 year old drug dealer when I was 18. And then I slept with him again a couple weeks later because I thought it might make me feel like it was a thing and not just a truly horrible idea.…

1) An Irish guy who purposely mooned me and my friend at a pizza place in NYC. He was wearing a kilt. We banged on a couch in my friend's dorm room. I think the kilt stayed on.

A lonnng time ago I had an affair with a guy that would go "AAAAAAAAAAA" really loudly every time he came. I had a hard time keeping a straight face. And there was one time I started riding him and out of the blue he stretched his arms over his head and got super stiff, like he was about to dive in a pool... Why?…

Plz try

That woman who is dating her dad.