I definitely thought that too.

My dad's house caught on fire after the cable box, WHICH HAD BEEN UNPLUGGED, malfunctioned. The fire department thought the memory bank might've still been active and overheated. They also just sanded their floors, so some sawdust probably got in it somehow. Electronics are scary sometimes....

Haaaaahahaha..... Yes.

I kind of feel like Woody Allen is the Kurt Cobain of the movie world. Like, people feel obligated to admire him and put him on a pedestal, when really he's not THAAAT great. Kurt Cobain won #1 best guitarist of all time in an issue of Rolling Stone. REALLY? Woody Allen might've been talented in his day, but now he's…

It happened to an ex's brother??? sooo.... I don't think he was? Can't verify the truth, just hear-say. Hence the whole, "I heard a STORY" part.

OMG, I totally heard a story about a guy who banged a girl and threw out the condom in the bathroom and then walked in on her, in the bathroom, inserting the inside out condom inside of her in an attempt to impregnate herself with his semen.

:(

I'm sorry, but the "Good girl" thing made me laugh out loud.

I almost puked just reading that. GROSS. And what a dickhead!

The last story reminds me of the time I was a senior in high school and had my boyfriend over. My mom was out with her friends so I mean, obviously we were trying to get it on. Then my mom comes home wasted and decides it's a good time for mother/daughter bonding...while my boyfriend is hiding under my bed so we don't…

Dude, this totally happened to me once. I split a bottle of Sailor Jerry's with this friend of a friend who came over for a ukulele jam (I KNOW. I KNOW.) I wasn't really expecting to bone him, but then he just pounced on me and we started making out. Things moved quickly and we ended up in my bed. Then he just thrusts…

Okay, I had a trampoline from age 8-16 and never got hurt. We didn't even have one of those nets that goes around the outside of it. I don't know what horrific trampoline-related childhood trauma this guy went through, but trampolines are fuckin awesome.

:(

Dat ass doe.

:(

My only experience with this is when I managed a cafe and we eventually had to let a waitress go because she had an illness that caused her to pass out at random. She was too close to hitting her head on the sharp edge of the counters too many times. She ended up getting further treatment for her condition and is…

I lived with a few people who dealt pot and they were all my best roommates. When I used to actually smoke, one girl even told me to help myself to her stash and leave the money on her bed. She was so kind and trusting!

I love the visual of seeing the confused face of her getting the password wrong dozens of time.

I had a friend who's mom had the same name as her and would cash her student loan checks and rent out apartments with her social security number after her credit went into the toilet, thus causing her daughter's credit to also go into the toilet.

So, I've had my fair share of shitty roommates. They would expect me to take care of their shitty dogs, or they would leave the doors wide open for my cat to get out, or they would eat all my food, never pay rent, blah blah blah. But I have a friend who has an awesome roommate story.