“It is a very, very seedy world when it comes to animal sexual abuse and it is extremely common.”

In my fanfic he does.

Those names are what a classic rock-lovin’ star on the CW should definitely name their kid.

“This is not a “protest”, it’s a statement!”

I didn’t think the CIA had it in them to be so salty. Bless.

So you’re saying that Chris Evans appears at some point wearing only strategically placed whipped cream, a banana & two cherries?

I’m guessing by “accident,” they mean that Kim posted it by force of habit, but then thought better of it. She likely is ready to start the process of getting back to normal, but hasn’t yet decided what her new normal will be. Just my guess.

Jon Stewart is one of William & Mary’s most famous/beloved alumni. So when he came to speak at the college, you’d better believe I made sure to have tickets.

I have a short piss story, followed by a longer one about everything.

Fuck that guy. You shit in the lake, you do NOT get to meet Obama. Where’s the justice in that?!

It was at the EIFFEL FUCKING TOWER.

I studied abroad in Tours, France during the summer of 2009. This was like a mini study abroad—only a month—but we did homestays and I befriended a group of girls on the trip who were advanced French majors and made some local friends through them, so my French improved a lot.

Innocuous fact: My grandma kept a baggie full of drinking straws, napkins and supermarket produce bags in the glovebox of my grandpa’s Oldsmobile for kiddo soda drinking occasions and such (bag was for trash, natch).

Oh my god one time in freshman year I was in Harvard Square at 1 in the morning having just tried to stop the dam against drunkenness at Felipe’s and I really had to pee to I ran down into a loading dock and only discovered after I was done that I had accidentally soiled a pigeon.

Except that the woman would end up in jail for murder. Laws aren’t kind to women who protect themselves from male abuse.

Hey, Clover. Long time reader and commenter. To the flagged categories of “this is spam” and “this is harassment”, can we add “this is just a really stupid comment”?

Anytime some strange doofus touches me, I clap their ears and punch them in the throat. I live in a bad neighborhood and this shit happens daily. Walking home from work is like a damn video game. I would not recommend my school of response, because it’s a good way to get killed but fuck I am too sassy to care.

It is super telling about every single one of your privileges that you brush off his dangerous racism, misogyny, ableism, Islamophobia, xenophobia, love for murderous tyrants, and ignorance with a mere “...worse for some people, but calm your little heads”. Seriously? Get stuffed.

I should clarify - I don’t expect the editors or jezebel staff to research or do independent fact checking of these. But if the author admits that it’s fake, that should be an automatic disqualification.

The armoire story was WAY over the top. It’s definitely more enjoyable when they’re believable.