Counters by humorless commenters are also Deadspin standard. We’ll hit the trifecta if we can work in a ‘Haisley sucks’ take.

This list is kind of jacked. Southerners do not consider DC or Baltimore the South despite being below the Mason Dixon. Also, Baltimore making this list is kind of outrageous unless they took into account the Bmore suburbs as well, I guess.

To me the phrase “first __ on the market” would mean the first one available for purchase, regardless of if it’s still made or not.

Because they know it’d be pointless. Moreover, civilians are written off in the event of a nuclear attack. If bombs drop you are on your own for at least a month, if you survive.

Wow, you’re such a selfless and moral person... I stand in awe... Better yet, I shall prostrate myself before your goodness...

$1300 for a 4-star?! Please direct me toward this guy!

Well, my kids’ school has some explaining to do about last Easter!

More like Elon Musky amirite

Huh.

Uh... the bottom portion seems kind of weird coming from someone who didn’t actually walk away from the project but stayed with it until they were laid off.

How old is too old to drive a teen in your congregation to a secluded road without her permission and demand she touch you sexually?

So far, the only athletes that have qualified under IOC regulations are Ryom Tae Ok and Kim Ju Sik, a pair of figure skaters. 

Breaking news, the culprit was identified:

On a side note, I can tell you from a couple of years of fantasy football ownership several years ago that what Saban did with the QB change took guts, man. I know exactly what that took to make that change. I been there, man. Me and Sabes, man. Yeah...

Looks like Saban’s trying to explain to the cop that he’s not that drunk.

Crushing Georgia’s hopes and dreams is old hat to the Russians.

I’m going to guess you actually had nothing to do with it.

Nothing like getting served, pestered by Sherrifs & taken to court over a Will that myself and my sisters are not only 100% excluded from but do not even have any interest in contesting in the first place.

I think you mean Jeremy Shockey. They did get Olsen that year, but I don’t think he has any visible tattoos. Just a third leg.

Sick brag, Mr. I Know Girls.