I have to commend you for trying, but maybe you didn’t get the memo. We’ve moved past facts and into feelings territory. The purpose of this blog post is to make readers feel like their indignation is righteous. Be amazed as Anna Merlan magically transforms the blunt Keith Lamont Scott was smoking in his car into a…

At first I thought watching a game backward didn’t make a lot of sense. Then I realized it’s just another perspective. And from that perspective every game ends in a tie. And then I thought, why not draft another power forward?

So we’re going to complain when Trump selects dumpsterfires for positions on one hand, but then also point the finger at qualified candidates who actually might work with Trump. The Federal Government is huge. We’re going to need competent people working under Trump to make it through the next four years.

No, I’m an amateur waste of space.

Rise up, Giuliani’s ego. You have nothing to lose. You live inside a very old man, and he will never hold national government now. Only the fire in your core holds him aloft above his grave. Such an ancient power must not drain out in humiliation. It must explode.

Burning a flag is protected free speech, but I know of no constitutional protection for well done, nor should there be. It’s a fucking travesty.

You’ve obviously never gigged frogs and had them for supper that night.

Can we stop criticizing Mitt for going for SOS? He’s sane, competent, and qualified-qualities sorely lacking in most of Trump’s cabinet picks. Also, he’s at least somewhat willing to criticize Trump, at least enough to completely unhinge Kelly Anne. I take that as a good sign.

If you’re not from Brazil, it’s hard to understand the magnitude of this tragedy.

Whatever happened to driving behind them, getting a good recording of the license plate and filing a police report + civil suit?

Which manipulates a scanned paper ballot how?

I don’t think anybody really feels one is necessary for the other. But there are people who will not worry about the intolerance as long as they get the boom and people who will welcome the bad as just as good or even better than the boom.

Depends on who you voted for. I voted Hillary and actually enjoyed this article, even if it’s not satirical. It’s a good balance to this site and all of the other Post-Gawker sites.

Hot take:

Isn’t Australia the Florida of Asia?

You know racism’s gotten bad when male cheerleaders think they have the right to make fun of anyone else.

No, but all Westerners are decadent bourgeois enemies of the people’s revolution.

I will never, ever accept mac and cheese as a burger, sandwich, or pizza topping.

Pretty scary stuff. Unions are an option, certainly, and I would never discourage anyone from joining a union.

Counterpoint: Harambe for ASG Captain