2019 sports beef is off to a tremendous start.

Hey, he had a good day . Got to run around outside for a few hours, played with his friends chasing a ball. Overall he had a good day, yes he did.

If we’re going to put our cars on a bumpy, impractical conveyor belt that forces you to attach weird side-friction training wheels like it’s a roller coaster from 1924 just so you don’t fall off the tracks and skid to your death in the tunnel of doom, Elon Musk should have the damn courtesy to install a car wash in…

Hey! I’m grey as hell and I think Musk is a clown! #notallgreys

Sometimes the light at the end of a tunnel is a train.

SHITTY, WHAT DID YOU DO TO DREW?!?!?!!1!?

Get well, Drew. May we all make jokes about peppermint bark and artisanal chicken coops in your honor.

We’re not giving details out of respect for his family’s privacy. Thanks for understanding.

I didn’t want to tip our hand, but that process has already begun. Subtly.

After all these years- its good to see Demolition are still together

I mean, he’s mostly wrong. But if you’re writing checks to pay for groceries, it’s the policy of grocery stores to ask for some form of ID. But who writes checks for groceries...besides my parents?

I work in retail and I hate everyone who still uses cheques. It's OVER, people. Let it go.

Obviously he still writes paper checks.

I get it, it’s a lame joke. But you don’t have to get all testy about it.

Yeah, but when I show up to one of my kids’ events and start kicking things, it’s all “what the hell is wrong with you??” and “this is a cafeteria!”

The Aristocrats!

Waking Up To Go To The Bathroom In The Middle Of The Night And Stepping Barefoot On Your Kid’s LEGOs Lineup

The only thing more England than being England immediately is tricking people into thinking you might not be England and then being England

This season feels like a Nats fan found a monkey’s paw and wished that the team wouldn’t lose in the first round of the playoffs again.