And who could forget former Eagles running back Charlie Gardner?

The Ken Griffey Jr.-Edgar Martinez-Jay Buhner 3-5 combination may be my favorite heart of an MLB order of all time. Give me those three and Randy Johnson on the mound, and I’d take on anyone in World Series Baseball ‘94 on the Sega Genesis.

I mean, while he’s doing that in Allentown, out in Bethlehem they’re killing time, filling out forms, standing in line.

That’s the first time I’ve ever heard the GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL call sound sad. There’s so much cognitive dissonance in that, I don’t know where to begin.

Scaramucci!

Handsome Monica played for the summer league team I cover two years ago. Set the league record for home runs in a season. It’s his legal name, but he changed his name to Handsome when he was about 13 because that was his mom’s nickname for him.

This. My family had a weekend subscription to the Inquirer, and Stark’s Sunday notes page was the first thing I had to read every Sunday at breakfast. Probably the first thing that inspired me to get into journalism (well, that, and realizing that if I couldn’t hit the ball out of the infield in Little League, the…

Only guy on that list I truly loathe is Adam Eaton, because fuck Adam Eaton, the pitcher who once managed to walk Randy Johnson on four pitches with the bases loaded. That should be physically impossible.

I wish the only sports that weren’t eliminated were the ones we played at recess. I would’ve been a dual-sport All-American in kickball and four square, dang it!

He’ll definitely try to make all the teams that end up Kpassagnon him pay once he gets to the NFL.

Grayson and Draymond need to end up as the NBA’s ultimate heel tag team: Tripping Balls.

Other favorite random Eagles: Jeff Thomason, Dirk Johnson, Tim “I Ended Michael Irvin’s Career” Hauck, Na “Best Hands on the Team” Brown, Andy Harmon, Al Harris, Barry Gardner.

N.D Kalu - Two inches from a punt block in the 02 NFC title game against the Rams. Definitely not still bitter about that.

Willie “Fast Willie” Parker

I remember when Trung Candidate went into a college season as a legit Heisman contender.

Torrance Small

Sailing. Boaty McBoatface immediately capsizes upon attempting a slight turn, I die a slow, horrible drowning death in Rio’s toxic water. Whee!

Report: Coach Who Made Ridiculous Personnel Moves Considered Ridiculous Personnel Move.