Peter Sohn is Russell, not Dug.

Listen, two nights ago I dreamed my family was fighting the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus (yes, Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker) in my hometown at Christmas time. There were even ornaments of all three of them for some reason. The school’s clock tower was involved.

Let’s add here that the Wookiee porn in the Holiday Special featured Diahann Carroll. And that Bea Arthur was in it. And that Luke wore an IHOP full of pancake makeup because he crashed his motorcycle.

Cats memory: I saw Cats around 1987. There was an Asian group sitting stage left by one of the pipes where the performers came out. They were not aware this was a portal to Jellicle town and they literally jumped out of their seats in fear.

One woman, who testified in front of Congress about #MeToo in the federal judiciary, told Woodward during the Q&A that it was frustrating that he kept interrupting Kantor and Twohey. She’s awesome.

That’s bull-spit: Semen tsunami swallows town

Let’s clarify what the judge said was a traditional case of rape:

My son cowered in fear every time Chuck E. Cheese came out during a party. Wanted nothing to do with him.

It looks like O’Nien’s foot grazed his head. They always catch the retaliator, eh?

The 1993 Steve Vai “Sex and Religion” tour concert. Devin Townsend putting the mic in his pants and singing to his crotch was not the impressive part. I was sent to review the concert and his tour manager had confirmed a post-concert interview.

1. Tool, Lollapalooza 1993, which I was reviewing for the press. They were the second act, following Rage Against the Machine. They told the crowd to fill in all the empty seats up front, causing a rush of people toward seats that were not theirs. The venue (Star Lake Amphitheater near Pittsburgh) kicked them offstage…

So much rolling I was practically bowling.

I have done a dramatic reading of “Walter” for my wife and her best friend. Especially when I emphasized the constant use of the word “prick.”

Crosby: 1.29 PPG
Malkin: 1.18 PPG
Ovechkin: 1.12 PPG
Thornton: 1.01 PPG

Malkin has been incredibly important to the Penguins, especially in Crosby’s absence and shouldn’t be overlooked. I’m not arguing he’s more important to his team than Ovechkin, but those are three generational talents in one division for that span.

Dadbod HOF

When I was on the Ellwood City Wolverines, we played Sto-Rox in the 1987 semifinals of Pennsylvania’s WPIAL Class-AA in this kind of weather. We won 2-0 after a disputed touchdown gave them the ball on the 1.

Moby Wraps work well too up to a certain age. Unfortunately, they also come in Cardinals-branded forms. That’s still not as bad as Piers Morgan.

*45 minutes later*