15 years ago my friends pranked me really hard that I won the DC shoes monthly giveaway by calling my house and acting like they were from DC. I was suckered really good and got laughed at for weeks. So I wrote DC an email telling them about this story and how I should win it for real and punk those guys right back. I…

Don’t think that we didn’t notice that this write-up is nearly as long as your others. The poster fools no one.

Welcome back kids! I hope you had a great summer. How was camp? Did you get your braces off? Did you do the required pre-reading? No, well it’s time to do the reading. Alright, let’s get back into the swing of things.

Crack journalist Kevin Draper

It’s the same company that’s making the BB-8 desk toy. I’m just confused as to why they decided to go so small. Wouldn’t bigger give them more room to use larger (and therefore cheaper) components?

Ive been hungover twice in one day before. Stay in your lane.

You must clean up in Facebook comment sections.

That depends on what you think the purpose is. If you play for action, sure. If you play for exploration, story, and the joy of discovery, then not so much.

So I will break it down in a top ten as I normally do on areas I would like to assert my opinion and clearly superior writing and intelligence skills as compared to this Dave Magary who I hope is make believe as I would push him over in his chair immediately to assert my dominance and supremacy like a lion does in the…

This has to be satire

The Phillies would be over-joyed to have a gay pro prospect, as that would mean they actually have a pro prospect.

I disagree entirely. I don’t understand why this is news. It’s 2015, how in the world can people still actually care about baseball?

Is this where I laugh at your joke, or where I explain that it’s a sphere, and that regardless of where it is cut, you get concentric rings?

More than you get paid to cry about it on the intertubes.

You’re a fucking miserable cunt

Uh WalterPeck, yes. Sugar is absolutely a preservative.

More like the San Diego Over-chargers!

No fancy or intelligent quip. I just have no fucking clue what that thing is. It looks like Starfox just landed on a turd, but near some good parking.

Spoiled brat? I don’t let my work tell me what to wear or do outside of work. If you do, you’re a cowed bitch.

We all know that Count Sosa’s reflection doesn’t show up in the mirror....