Too bad we can't elect his wife instead.

Just hold the string out of the way. Jeez.

So, is "unknown numbers of my wedding dresses are soaked in Ebola sweat and now I have to burn them all" covered under bridal shops' insurance policies? Asking for a friend.

They don't like penis, though, so it's not about replacing penis for them. If you like the penis, I have to agree - the tongue is nice, but does not replace the desire for dick totally.

With breasts you generally know what you're getting before disrobing. Penis-lovers don't get this advantage. Damn patriarchy!

This is basically the SAHM version of being "the cool girl".

For the bride who wants the crowd to be reminded of "Victorian boudoir scene" as she walks down the aisle.

Gauze straitjacket was also my ideal look for a wedding, but I blame that on rereading The Bell Jar a few too many times.

I thought it was that he only had one ball.

Reese's are amazing. I think they put mild narcotics in the peanut butter.

I had about two weeks where it seemed like all I ate was Kraft Mac and Cheese. It was one of the few things I could eat that would not make me feel like I was about to throw up. I don't dare tell the "cruncy" moms in my circle.

My dog mutilated a Barbie. My parents called her "Burn-victim Barbie" forever after.

Yeah, I was reading it's actually more of a risk with cantaloupe than it is for cold cuts, and I've never once had someone tell me to avoid melon.

That sounds amazing. I really want a small glass of wine with Thanksgiving but dealing with my shame-y relatives probably won't make it worth it.

Thank you!

I swore off caffeinated soda for the first twelve weeks, when chances of miscarriage were highest, but then gave in and started drinking about one Diet Coke a day. I also eat sushi, but only the cooked stuff. People still give me evil looks when I pick it up at the supermarket. And when I order something from…

But also, gaining too little weight can lead to very low birthweights, premature birth, and all the health problems that come with that. This is especially a risk if you're carrying multiples.

I will say it does happen. I'm not exactly skinny (about two pounds away from being "overweight" on the BMI before I got pregnant), but I guess I look much smaller right now than what people expect a woman at 20 weeks with twins to look like, because I get a lot of "But you're so tiny!" comments from people with…

I hate it when people judge me for eating certain things. I've had severe nausea and dizziness and trouble gaining weight initially throughout this whole pregnancy, and I'm only halfway through, so if I want to eat a danish and some hot chocolate because it's calorie heavy and not likely to make me throw up, I will,…

Not to mention - I dropped eight pounds in my first trimester. Do I count my weight gain from my original starting weight, or at the record low weight I was (seriously - hadn't been that low in four years) after several weeks of nausea?