“Emily Austen’s agent” is the most depressing part of this whole thing

I mean, you guys don’t get shit.

Yeah good point, from here on out, Screamer will only cover World Cup finals.

Leaving out the part about how Joey King moved closer to home to be with his brother that’s sick with cancer? Interesting choice.

As a competitive oarsman, bravo for getting on the machine that most non-rowers never give a passing thought. I will say, the gent who pointed out that you were erging at a 7 was on to something. Most folks who just sit on the erg for a few minutes figure a higher number is better, which is not true. Somewhere between…

This sucks, so, so much.

Try looking for the joke again.

This guy is 80 percent of Deadspin’s readership.

hey fuck you man

Unbiased journalism is a myth sallied about when dense or dishonest people take exception to their own biases aren’t being catered to. And anyway, I wrote the most about Arsenal because they’re, objectively, the best.

Your... species?

Yeah no 20-year-olds in Bayern’s Amateure squad ever go on to do anything worthwhile

Welp, time to move on to the next dual-citizen flavor of the week. What is Gedion up to these days and why didn’t he play for the USMNT in the Gold Cup?

that fresh shapeup thooooooooo

In a broad context, nothing. But to travel to the Netherlands and Germany in one week and beat them both on their home turf? Excuse me for a second while I karate kick a Budweiser can and shave a bald eagle into my chest hair.

Clearly it’s in Miami.

When reached for comment, Timofey Mozgov noted that Irving’s injuries would probably best be treated with some ice, some rest, and trip down to Brew Garden: Fabulous Food, Fine Spirits, Fantastic People™.

Super rude.

Smarmy commenter mistakes what's clearly marked as an advertisement for something Deadspin had any involvement with. Ironic.