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McConnell said at the outset that the senate wouldn’t pass anything that wasn’t backed by the president. And they’re obviously fine with the shutdown going indefinitely because what’s the downside for them? They’ve engineered an electorate that all but guarantees minority rule so why should they care if another…

Got him. You’re canceled, Mr. President, Sir. 

When Greenwell took this job did anyone tell her she’d have to spend so much of her time dealing with old man takes retrieved from a dead drop in a forest?

Thank you for keeping me safe from literal children, border pigs.

Pictured: That face you make after finding the perfect substitute for the n-word. 

Says the simple bitch who can’t grasp a simple analogy. 

Oh, are the goalposts over there now? Sorry I was only interested in having one argument with you. 

Except this impasse is 100% trump’s fault. Two chambers of congress approved a spending bill and he torched it. Yes it is an impasse but pointing out there are two sides as if both share equal amounts of blame is at best pedantry and at worst willful obfuscation. 

I think most people here know what an impasse is they’re just not dense enough to stubbornly litigate both sides of the issue.

AP Fact Check: Bullies shouldn’t give my son wedgies at recess but the elastic band on the underwear I buy for him provides the perfect handhold. 

Everyone who is super horny for media with a “centrist bias”,whatever the fuck that is, this is the end result of such fuckery. 

OH NO MUH NORMS!

Ben Shapiro wakes up with his phone in his hand and realizes he’s been tweeting about her in his sleep. We’re going to need a stronger word than “triggered”. 

You’re early. Magary’s team previews are usually in August.

Satire or not, she shouldn’t say that about Italians.

He looks like he knows the age of consent in every state and multiple countries. 

That’s rich coming from the likes of you. 

Look, buddy this restaurant serves shit and it serves it two ways. If you want a restaurant that serves food maybe you should move to Venezuela.