In a perfect world, Azealia Banks wouldn’t have blown up her career with a potent combination of mental illness/being an asshole and we’d get the remix we deserve.

The first movie is the only correct answer. The NOS; the “danger to manifold” scene; cars simultaneously doing wheelies and burnouts; not one, but TWO women willing to fuck Ja Rule if he wins a street race; and the pièce de résistance, Dom’s crew of thieves risking life and limb against shotgun-wielding truck drivers…

But that’s the thing: it couldn’t. Though it would get conservatives angrily tweeting about the trans agenda after it accidentally switches everyone’s genders halfway through its script.

and had the toys replace all the female heroes’ big moments with male ones (most notably giving Black Widow’s motorcycle drop from Age of Ultron to Captain America).

He truly does look like a vaguely unsettling stranger who appears from nowhere the minute you express that you’d give anything for some goal of yours to be achieved.

a sort of “Convict Air,” if you will

I mean, it was creepy and weird at the time, too, not least of all because of the weirdos who were obsessed with Natalie Portman specifically in Leon and, like, Beautiful Girls.

i say that as someone who hates guardians 2

Yeah, the D&D release date was weird and the competition was easily avoidable. I feel the same way about Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.; not aiming for a Mother’s Day weekend release seems very dumb.

He’s probably more sympathetic than most, because he’s spent his entire life looking like someone who would do the things Miller is accused of. Like, if you told me someone was running around terrorizing people in Hawaii and showed me a picture of Michael “Krayzee-Eyez Killa” Shannon, I’d be like “Yeah, that tracks.”

And critics are always like “[Beloved British actor] does their best to elevate the material” instead of “[Beloved British actor] willingly stars in yet another dogshit movie to pay for an addition on their winter home in Portugal.”

There were a couple in Toronto, but they all closed down like 6 or 7 years ago, RIP me.

I’m Canadian, so no Carl’s Jr. for me 😔

It really does. And every knock-off version I've tried from other chains (Burger King, Dairy Queen) has sucked in comparison. 

Is it because he also looks a lil inbred?

Some of it is explained by the fact that we’re in our mid- and late-20s, and, of course, while I was busy being a teenage theatre nerd who couldn’t sing, she was popular; our pop culture references are, understandably, worlds apart.

“Rly don’t like to do a rule but don’t wanna be responsible for a Nazi anthem unless it’s somehow in jest a la [The Producers] I guess.”

These excerpts were, undeniably, embarrassing—at one point, a testifying Green pointed to her “Frenchness” as a reason for some of the nastier invective

No ❤️

I saw E.T. as a kid at my grandmother’s house and it freaked me the fuck out. Not the movie as a whole, E.T. himself. I couldn’t walk past the big bushes at my elementary school because I believed he would jump out, I began insisting that one of my parents stay in the bathroom while I showered to make sure E.T.…