An angel of the Lord appeared in a dream and said, “Citizens of Philadelphia, do not be afraid of your Eagles’ 2018 season. For you will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Gritty, because he will save his people from their sins.”

Back in my day, you could just jump on top of them, pin them to the ground and hope the ambient sounds muffle their screams. Now they wanna make a federal case about it?

We can’t talk about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!

Mr. <3000 ...t-cells

We don't need any more inept orange lunatics in this country. #ImpeachGritty

Welp, I guess its back to good ol’ fashion butt luges.

...with a hint of Lime-a-rita and a smokey finish.

Ironically, I am quite sure that Trump has played Super to more and a few Italian-American plumbers ...while giving them the runaround for some coin.

Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!

In an odd full-circle coincidence, Jerry himself once famously asked: “What’s wrong with 16?” Only to be told: “Trust me, 18 is just safer.”

Male PA announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.
Female PA announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Male PA announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.
Female PA announcer: Don’t you tell me…

Any way you slice it, this guy was clearly not part of the upper crust of the food industry.

Not all of Stephen King’s work...

Do those first two words bring back memories of your travels abroad?

All that time meticulously creating an insane log flume ride, and NO “money-shot bridge”? Half the attraction of these rides (IRL) is to drenched all the onlookers watching from a footbridge over the splash zone.

Is the interior of his glove lined with a Fruit Roll-up? What kind of millennial gameplay crutch is this?

What the fuck is with that studio setup? Is he supposed to be sitting on a judge’s bench? Is it a DJ booth?

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free... and we’ll lock’em up and put the children in fucking cages...”

At least they got outdoor detail for 90 min. But its back to the acid mines til the next ... “match.”