Strong work. I love it when someone is willing to take the unpopular position.

I hate everyone that says anything similar to "fuck the haters".

Dear Ubi,

"I used to fix prolapsed monkey rectums when I worked at a primate breeding facility."

"What is cake and why should I even care?"

Andrew Jackson: "Hey, Indians... GTFO."

Actual verbatim gchat conversation that happened at 3:30 AM EST:

Challenger: [explodes]

I pray, in 77.4 years when Jeanette Daniels Benziger's great-great-great-grandson is begrudgingly doing a family tree for 4th grade, he lazily uses google and unwittingly stumbles upon the fact that his relative, Jeanette Daniels Benziger, had a brief turn as an internet meme on a vulgar defunct sub-blog of the the…

[Heat death of the universe occurs]

YEAH WELL YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN BAKING SO IT ISN'T REALLY YOUR PLACE TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT HERE. I AM ALL FOR THE RIGHTS AND CIVIL TREATMENT OF ALL PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO MAKE COMMENTS AND BAKE FREE OF ANY HEAD SHAKING DISCRIMINATION FROM SO-CALLED WRITERS AT OVERLY LIBERAL WEBSITES!!!!!! NEXT YOU…

If you were a real baker, you would already know the answer to that.

Hindenburg: [explodes]

We need to make this a thing, people.

Until they're as cold as your frigid heart, you nasty bitch!

I think you're supposed to put it in the freezer, kill yourself, then wait 6 hours. Should be good to go by then.

So...like overnight then?

Until the Muslim in Chief is succesfully IMPEACHED and THROWN IN JAIL for his HIGH CRIMES and MISDERMEANERS against FREEDOM LOVING AMERUCICANS EVERYWHERE!

So, wait. How long should I freeze the numbers?