Nah. Truth is, they’re boring as shit.

We had a different situation: Our daughter came home with us for the first time at the age of eight months. Up to then, she had never heard a word of English, except from us (and a few other fellow international adopters).

Agreed. The wife thought I was nuts when I wanted to stop at a Wawa, for the first time ever, in Orlando. Today she has renewed respect for my keen judgement.

But oh fuck I want that story to be true. I usually don’t laugh out loud at these submissions, but this time.. hoo boy.

I’d disagree. I loved UT and still do, but I think Wilco has evolved (a LOT) from their first album ever.

Considering that it’s best attribute is not quite being in Kentucky, well, yeah.

Feh, Yanke Hotel Foxtrot FTW.

No.

Maybe so. Professionals should act... professionally.

+1. If that were my daughter, I’d also remind her that she’s never too old for a spanking and a time-out.
We have enough douchebags in the world, people. Stop raising more.

Nope, send all of them home. In team sports, everyone needs to know they answer for the actions of the team. It sounds unfair, but some lessons are.

Repeating an answer that has been confirmed with research: hamburgers and hot dogs are sandwiches, depending on where you live.

But did he die happily? Cardiac arrest and a three mile smile?

Yep. If it weren’t for WYTS and Jamboroo, I wouldn’t care about football at all anymore.

+1 For remembering the name.

I live in Raleigh.

Or noise-cancelling headphones. Great deals on those posted on Kinja these days.

Fun fact: the theme to “Last Week Tonight” is performed by Valley Lodge, the band of shredder/comedian Dave Hill.

Agree 1000%. The same dipshits would take their kid to a fancier place too.

Allow me to throw a knuckleball at the plate. A hot dog is or is not a sandwich, depending on where it exists.