I love President Trump, who is a fearless American hero, and continue to support him one hundred percent.

Can you guess what happens to her newly-naturalized parents if she divorces Trump? Or the windfall she married him for in the first place? Or her almost-definitely-autistic son?

Hi, speaking on behalf of most men, we do not like how she looks. She’s got a “trophy wife who stuck around too long” look to her.

I’ve seen mantises with prettier faces. They seemed a hell of a lot less likely to decapitate me and eat my head after mating too.

My last job was like that. Fortunately, in my new one, the bosses understand that they don’t understand what I do, and as a result are kind enough to leave me alone.

Because he’s right. HamNo is shit. Always has been.

Oh, calm your shit. It was obviously a joke.

Fuck off with your lazy-ass trolling, you amateur.

Azelia Banks is a crazy person. Elon Musk is a crazy person. Somehow, they appear to have crossed paths, and it turned into a shit ton of crazy person drama. Previously, it was assumed that the only way to reach this level of crazy drama was by cloning a few Kanyes and locking them in a room together, and yet here we…

Personally, it helps me to remember that in taking his own life, Bourdain hopefully found peace from the demons that have haunted him for most of his adult life. I’m sad he died of course, but I’m glad he’s no longer suffering like so many other folk still living.

Even the best possible documentary on Bourdain’s life will necessarily pale in comparison to the decade-plus of travelogues Bourdain was creating himself. He already immortalized himself in film, so at best, this documentary is going to be entirely superfluous and forgettable.

Trump is attempting to say that the dollar is gaining value (which is only arguably true if you ignore the last few weeks), but he’s got the eloquence of a six year old with Down’s Syndrome, so it comes out as the dumbest shit.

Show of hands, is there anybody out there who didn’t see this coming? Anyone who actually thought this dumbass parade might happen?

Yup! And I couldn’t be happier about it.

Neat fan art, but this thing is going to be terrible (if it’s ever even made).

This is some truly weak-ass trolling. Try harder, amateur.

Yeah. There’s a few that aren’t quite so dedicated to appealing solely to idiot children, but they’re a tiny minority.

Yeah, I’m not proud about it either, but then, Trump is an unimaginable waste of human skin, so what can you do?

You notice she said “eye” not “eyes.” Any other subject that might be innocuous, but Sanders has that creepy, wonky lazy eye going for her that’s a much better target than her being a chubby jar of mayonnaise.

I’m still searching for the person who wanted this remake to happen. So far, no luck.