My brother bonked my spawn into an uncovered furnace duct. (He was lifting, not tossing.) He felt horrible but we were laughing too hard to reassure him because the “BOONG” noise was too funny. Oh, and sleep deprivation.

Ten years in customer service has made it quite easy to deal with assholes ;)

Starred for transubstantiation.

late reply: do you think we can get Canada to adopt us?

I hadn’t heard “lovely lady lumps” before. Yay?

I’m in the sandwich generation — I’ve got my mother in law *and* my just graduated from university kid on my cell phone bill. :D

Yes, my bright yellow car has somehow achieved fucking invisibility. Good thing my defensive driving skills were honed on a silver (aka pavement colored) vehicle.

The SPLC lawsuit in 2000 closed down the Hayden Lake compound, at least. That was pretty much the mothership for organized neo-nazi fuckery in the area.

(my wife is fucking terrifying when she’s so mad that she’s calm)

Now *that’s* using his powers for good. :D

Thanks for the reminder not to be an ass-hat. My mum is currently dying slow and hard from COPD caused by 50 years of smoking and my fingers itch to knock the cigarettes out of people’s hands (including two of my siblings!)... but I tell myself not to do it because, well, I don’t want to be an ass-hat. However, I am…

(grabby hands) I should probably refocus my empty-nest vehicular aspirations on a Miata... Nah, a woman can dream. :D

I didn’t know the correct spelling or meaning until I took that year of German in high school... before that I thought it was just something funny my dad liked to say. :D

I’m waiting for one of those bad boys to give me a migraine, which is usually reserved for chrome flashes. Sigh.

Our local Catholic hospital bought a medical office building whilst expanding their hegemony and told the urologists that had their practices there that they could not perform vasectomies in the building. And this was during the ‘90’s!

cosigned, abn0rmal, age 48

“...have long maintained that if you’re going to have nasty health problems, the least you can do is milk that shit.”

A+ parenting technique, wish I’d had something like that available when my spawn was that age. As it is, she’s made it to 21, so far so good.

Just remember, C.W. McCall == Chip Davis == Mannheim Steamroller. :D

Yeah! Whoodathunkit?