You still have an access card? Someone fucked up. Where is Ken Layne?

Does he have an American butler? Because I think the world is ready for English Batman.

You should just call him Mike, Megan.

I normally don’t say this to fellow Americans but, you were just born in the wrong country.

I have zero outrage over any of this, believe me. And you still don’t grasp the aspect of the rhetorical, and you have fucking harrible impulse control. Which is hilarious.

Because mah jong tiles are a poor stand in and really lack that freedomy oomph the smell of cordite brings.

Love this line of questioning because true to form, you already know the defendant’s answer.

Welp- that settles it: act of god then

“You” don’t know what a “rhetorical” question is, do you.

The real question is: was George Orwell prescient, or just paying attention?

Shut the fuck up Milo

Too much internet’s making you stupid, son. Take a break.

Timothy Treadwell fared better.

That editorial alternative universe might be a reality next week :(

Mohammed Ali was a Spike Lee fan- who knew?

Fairly middling electro-rap, but still better than Macklemore.

Obrigado

There’s always the next induction!

Maybe she saw a Zika mosquito and panicked?

No, he can grab her tits in a room somewhere. Fucking libertines, man.