Who said you were? #readingcomprehension

Tom Scocca is 45.

Using Trump tweets as a style guide- sad!

Bet it breaks in 3 months.

Where were all the hot chick nerds when we were growing up? Christ, life is unfair.

“All we wanted were some Indian spices.” —Cabral and the Portugese Crown

You know who would really like this? Wes Anderson, I bet.

As I get older, the idea of giving up birthdays sounds appealing to me too

Meanwhile, the crowd is now yelling in steady loud unison “We Like Mike!” louder than any Trump chant at Pence as they realize who will soberly keep a steady hand on their terrible tiller, should Clinton snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory.

Oh Vincent Cassel? Cool.

Well, you shouldn’t because the word you’re looking for is “commenter”, Marv Albert.

Why is it too nuanced for you? Good question; I’m guessing it’s because your parents were stupid, too.

At any job site that’s not a museum, it should at least be considered for removal. Too nuanced for you?

Do whatever you want after November 8th.

That’s great- lemme get a Whopper, extra pickles and a chocolate shake. And no, I don’t want fries with that.

Feel stupid yet? You should.

Scott Baio, just an American guy from Brooklyn, could come up with more policy initiatives on the back of a napkin while in church.

What else are they going to do? Talk about Trump’s “accomplishments” or “leadership”?

While that x1 at the end seems superfluous, without it the probability increases to 1 in 55,378,008.

Keyser Söze had more familial loyalty.