Let’s play a game. Would you rather be punched or kicked by a male soccer player? Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

I noticed that shit too.

WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THIS?

The most graphic part was her little tongue thing at :31. That ALWAYS means they’ll let you fuck them.

Alvaro Pereira (who earned a straight red)

Well this is slowly shifting from “clown car crash lol” into “I am genuinely uncomfortable that he’s going to end up like Chris Henry” territory.

-1 testicle

It’s sort of an aside by Osorio, but at some point if/when MLS is a lot higher quality, the schedule is going to still be a big hindrance. Players get more worn down from flying everywhere, they have too many months off, they play important rounds of the CONCACAF Champions League during the preseason, they don’t…

He’s truly the Ryan Tannehill of .com CEOs

Tom had the greatest Twitter burn of all time:

This has been an entertaining social interaction. I will now consume your soul. You will not feel a thing, and neither will I. I haven’t felt anything in years. It is liberating. Nothing matters but the rolling of the Tide. Soon the Tide will roll in and it will not roll out, burying us beneath a sheet of cold…

Matty Mauk Mucks and Muddies it up; Ray King Brews Breaking News.

Disappointed that wasn’t in the actual sketch.

In these snowpocalypse times, is there anything more annoying than the guy from a cold state that, while society collapses in DC, NYC, or Boston, repeatedly reminds everyone that back in Minnesota/Buffalo/Chicago that “We call this Tuesday!”?

White people who compare mild to moderate situations/annoyances to MLK’s struggle are the fucking worst.

Interesting for sure, but speaking from experience, this doesn’t look any different than the memo every major media company sends out around an election.

Are Seahawks fans quickly becoming the #BestFansInBaseball of the NFL?

I cannot wait for Marshawn Lynch to start on the New England Patriots.

“We weren’t hiring a line cook here – we were hiring a head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles...”