I will say that warming one’s genitals in a sunbeam really is nice, but I’m not about to get a sunburn on my asshole for this stupid shit.

Depending on your lock screen setup, you can see email subjects by simply waking your screen by passing your hand over it, no app checking or being woken by notifications required.

That Porsche spoiler looks like Optimus Prime coming to fuck your girl

I normally agree with this, unless it's a notification indicating one of my accounts has just gotten hacked. In that case, I want to lock everything down ASAP.

I think you gotta be more obvious with the sarcasm, that's too similar to responses I see to my asshole House rep

Wait, hold up here. Am I to understand that modern consoles can do an autosave before you shut down, no matter the game, and pick you up right there as if you’d paused it???

I’m sure they were either ring tattoos or rings.

I like sweet potatoes on their own with just some salt and butter, but I’m also a sucker for toasted marshmallow and jones for it all year, so it’s hard to say no to the 2 ounces of this I eat per year.

I love that term!

That’s me to a T lol

Lotta fancy words to say y’all gotta be on the same page. :P

Homework is practice for those skills, it doesn’t teach them those skills. How to teach kids how to study, and manage their time occupy entire disciplines, but I’m pretty sure telling kids to just do it and penalizing them arbitrarily has never taught them to do anything but get stressed and cheat.

I’m just going to do what I’ve been doing: pee on it all week, then spray some Method cleaner on it (doesn't matter which one) and give it a couple desultory rubs with a scrub brush.

I’m just going to do what I’ve been doing: pee on it all week, then spray some Method cleaner on it (doesn't matter…

Assigning homework doesn’t teach little kids (and even older kids) discipline or how to study on their own or how to manage their time. They have to have those skills in the first place to be successful at homework. A not insignificant number of children thrown into a pool without swimming lessons will drown despite…

Nah, they’d just grow new religions in the void. Religion is a product of a certain way of thinking common to almost all humans.

I’m sure it'll still be a terrible movie but Sonic is cute now and that made me happy.

The absolute worst thing to me is how Chevy decided that illuminating all the indicators on their vehicles is a good way for people to find theirs in parking lots, INCLUDING THE GODDAMN REVERSE INDICATORS.

No joke, I first saw him in Star Wars too and thought “man, this kid is good, can’t wait to see what he looks like when he grows up.”

No it wasn't, it was crocheted.

Really killing my boner here dude