Heavy Plates? Bastards!

they weigh the food you have plated up.

And unfortunately Scaly.

I'm at work for 30 more minutes and trying really hard to have serious face.

Yeah, his tattoos are pretty awful. I forgive him, because of everything else, but yeah, bad tats are bad.

Clearly that is a Kneenis.

Wait wait wait. They use EVERY PUN IN THE WORLD and they didn't call it aDICKtion. Even more fail than usual, Cosmo.

All-you-can-eat buffets should have one price for adults and one for kids. Gender pricing is lame since you have no idea how much anyone is going to eat. Here's an easy solution - don't call yourself an All-you-can-eat buffet, and charge by weight. There's a place near me that does this. Load up your plate, put it on…

I also have a sneaking suspicion this is how babby is formed.

OH GAWD WHEN ITS MOUTH TURNS INTO A SEX-DOLL MOUTH.

Silly Womens! All you needed was a little Pixie Dust!

Quit slut-shaming your mom, Kiddo.

L.A. Bro is an actor. And his secret shame is that he found a single grey hair.

It hit me last night. My gums itch, the cartilage in my nose itches, My asthma is angry, and I think I'm going to cough/sneeze to death. I blame the intense winds, and the general evil that is L.A. Air Quality.

I used to eat the chapstick with the snowman on it.

Waaaay worse that Bubble Tape. Bubble Gum Disguised as Chewing Tobacco. Such gross, clumpy, extruded awful gum....that I totally chewed during my softball games because I was an idiot.

I totally agree. The pizza ones ARE good for depression. The turkey ones were always WET. WET TURKEY. No.

I'm having a big sad over Red Wine biting the dust, but I'l happily settled into team Scotch & Vicodin. Seriously, Vicodin is the best thing ever. I hoard my Vicodin for the those HOW HAVE I NOT BLED TO DEATH? cramp days.

I'm shocked about Red Wine. I literally said 'THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT" out loud, at work, when I saw Red Wine lost.

Ugh. Her spine still looks fat.