Musk is such a problematic fave. Like I got tears in my eyes when Falcon Heavy launched...but then I remember that’s he’s just gross enough to make me cringe and go “ugh THAT fucking guy.” I will never forget when he was bugging Robert Rodriguez to set him up with Amber Heard cos he’d heard she read Ayn Rand. There’s…

You know what pisses me off even more about this ass? It’s not hard to find people WHO WANT to do BDSM edge play. It’s super easy to find partners on the internet that would be all “choking and slapping? I’M IN!” I know, obviously, the LACK of consent is probably part of/most of/all of/ the thrill for him, but you’d…

If it’s any consolation, when I met him he radiated like perfect, saintly love. The woman next to me thanked him for his work with domestic assault victims and said she was involved and I swear the first words out of his mouth were “Are you involved in a bad way? Do you need help?” And it was so sincere that I’m 100%…

Patrick Stewart and John Astin (The original Gomez Addams). Remember in 2016 when all the celebs were dying? I was having panic attacks that John Astin was gonna die on 12/31/16 cos I couldn’t take it. No I’m just scarred he’ll turn out to be one of the 2017 Assaulting assholes...

Mine too. My two favorites were a whole tennis shoe and “several Barbie doll heads.” I don’t know either.

#TeamFionaTheHippo4Lyfe. Fiona is a bitey little goddess who is basically the only thing keeping me sane in this crazyballs world. My husband legit bought me a tiny stuffed hippo and when he goes to bed he “lets her look in his mouth” because she kept doing that when she was meeting her mom and I don’t know what it…

TrumPumping: When we all gather round Dear Orange Leader and stroke his...Ego.

I live in hope.

“he gets two scoops of vanilla ice cream with his chocolate cream pie”

It’s an engraved frame. I know because my boss gave me one for my wedding in the same damn box. And it’s engraved, so you can’t return it.

I did the same thing and basically flipped out cos I was JUST in London, but then I calmed down and realized it was 2018 and started a dedicated savings account for another trip!

Anthony & Cleopatra at the National isn’t running til 2018. Yes, I am saving up to go. 

Crimea River whose email is Handmaidstale@notmypresident.com

The majority of my roomates in college were either complete psychos (2) or had a really disturbing quirk (1). The other two were fine. I still hated living with roomates, but we got on OK.

It’s not called an oral job. By anyone. Ever.

I think the assumption that a romantic relationship is automatically going to skew into teacher/student territory because of an age difference is misguided. I guess if you partner up with someone who naturally has that “teacher” mentality it might, but there are plenty of people who don’t operate that way. I’ve had…

I NEVER thought about weddings...like ever. Even into my 30s. The SO and I have been together forever and decided to get married. Planning the honeymoon was super easy cos I love to travel, but the wedding part is terrifying. I stopped freaking out as much when I just said FUCK IMMA DO WHAT I WANT. So - The officiant…

If your partner is talking over you and acting as if they know everything better than you - they’re a dick. That “I know better than you additude” you’re describing crops up in tons of same-age relationships. Hell, I’ve had men YOUNGER than me pull that shit. Bottom line - anyone talking to a partner like that is a…

Spyderco Loving Ladies of the World Unite! I am partial to my Harpy but would like to eventually pick up a matriach.

I’m doing a Halloween themed wedding but I’m pulling it off for about $4000. It’s small and it’s mostly reception food & booze that are costing the money. Also, I wrote my ceremony so there is a quote on love from Hannibal Lecter, because of course there is. And yes, desserts are mini chocolate brain cakes.