The original Little Mermaid story is SOOOOOO Dark. I would watch the hell out of that bloody-glass-feet and knives and sea-foam sprite madness.

I'm so proud of you, Vicodin.

"I had to go through this to teach my little one that you have to love yourself before anyone else will."

I've heard soooooo many stupid things today, but "DIVERSITY" = WHITE GENOCIDE" is the stupidest thing I've heard ALL WEEK. It's even in contention for stupidest thing I've heard THIS YEAR. Well played, man-babies.

You win Danny Kaye!

She had the same chick puke on her in a video in 2011. This isn't even new.

All of the new-fangled internet points to you!

I want This Is Birdemic as a ringtone now.

I've had that damn song stuck in my head for DECADES. It doesn't make sense!

My grandmother (Who was a thick fangirl) kissed him at a con. On stage. He had several people lift her up on stage. She was...Hmmm? 60? About 60. It was pretty damn epic. James Doohan forever!

Damn Shatner was a gorgeous man. Damn. Now I need to go home and throw on some classic Trek and cuddle with my Trek blanket. What?

I worked at Target when I was a teen and we had someone take a dump in a firing room. We also had someone take a dump in the bathroom - but in the middle of the floor.

Please tell me "Mutual, I'm sure." is a reference to the bimbo character from White Christmas.

I will stand back to back with you and fight, too!

I ad a friend in college who insisted we go down to some midnight movie house to see That von Trier BummerFest Dancer in the Dark. No, we aren't friends anymore.

Black Pudding is the tastiest thing since Haggis. I had my first bite before I knew what it was - and what it was is DELICIOUS.

I'm gonna guess around 65, retired from a middle-management job where he was super resentful that at some point in his 40 year career at the same boring place they started hiring women as his middle-management colleagues. And that just killed him because he didn't really think of women in any capacity besides sex…

Isn't saying "Female condoms are just ew" exactly the same as that douchebag who tries to whine you into barebacking? Ugh, I hate those guys. They are the worst. But implying "good for guys, ew for girls" is pretty unhelpful.

"If a man buys them, he's having sex and he's cool. Women have a negative attitude."

I like to use an edge-and-scrape method - first scrape around the edge so it doesn't drip down the sides at you. Then just scrape the spoon across the whole pint, making happy ice cream ribbons.