Yes. One way or another Chicago will burn this fall.

Today, my camp issued the following statement:

If ever I am in a conversation where my counterpart leads a sentence with the clause, “In Silicon Valley, we....” I will immediately leverage my hand to foster innovation across their face.

Guy hitting .205 in High-A ball is worried about the wrong Mendoza.

In fairness when they yell “go back to your country” Toronto fans usually mean America.

celly’d

I mean, I thought I knew who Graham Splurt was, but I must have had him confused for some old porno actor.

I broke my arm when I was 13. When they took off the cast, my tendons had healed a little too tight. I found out that I could throw a baseball incredibly fast. I got signed to a major league team and did really well closing out games. I eventually reinjured my arm later in the season and had to retire. But I’ll always…

Goddamnit, Samer. This really isn’t the BBC porn I was looking for.

I don’t get it. Touching hands is a lot less physical contact than getting your ass handed to you.

They’ve already got the logos printed and everything!

more like Leonidas of ‘Roids.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pool...

August 1st: Rose bets $100 on Ichiro to get 3,000th career MLB hit.

Fisher: I’m done playing, those days are behind me.

Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate hate

I’m glad the medics are getting practice to prepare for the flood of Cubs fans that will jump off ledges in October.

If only there was some kind of convenient bed Murphy could have used.

Sure it would keep him quiet but only for five minutes tops for each. What does that solve?