Why can't it just be, "they broke the rules and they were punished?"

God nothing gets Gawker's dick harder than being the "WELL ACTUALLY. . . " guy.

Where is your concern about the adults of JRW breaking the rules to recruit outside of the team's boundaries? Are you saying such unacceptable behavior should be excused due to the horrible things poor black communities endure?

There really aren't any dangerous baseball players left these days.

"When he loosened his grip slightly, I said, 'Just do it. Kill me.'"

I'd be worked up too after drunkenly naming my daughter Banga.

Big deal. Darren Sharper has been spiking beers for years.

There's no possible way my parents would ever do something like this to me.

Sometimes, when the atmospheric conditions in Arizona are just right, the fire alarm levers pull themselves.

I beg to differ. My friend Jesús won't shut the fuck up about fútbol.

I don't know about those options but the Legion of Doom look great, especially considering Hawk has been dead since 2003

Police Academy

Treadmill: COME ON DOWN!!

Needs to work on: Too slow.

Long sleeve button down tucked into your jeans with a backwards trucker hat? KILL YOURSELF!

Saw your tweet. "Just took a dude out." So gay.

When life hands you Don Lemons, turn off the TV.

I sure hope he catches the Pink Panther.

I hope it's mom's job to teach their daughter how to use a tampon.