I ain't your buddy, pal!

Well Burneko sure as fuck didn't learn how to write from his parents. Way to get right to the point, mom.

Judging by his roster, the poor guy is unfamiliar with the entire concept of stars.

Hopefully there is security footage so Mel Tucker can show it to the defense.

"A Bears fan then tackled Kohnke" and was immediately considered the best defensive prospect in the stadium that night.

Nuff said.

Pictured: Yet another Cam Newton turn over.

Looks like someone's going to get a deodorant endorsement for Christmas.

This photo shoot only served to reinforce the royal couple's notion that New Jersey is, indeed, the pits.

Tom Ley: This one goes out to the all the rec-leaguers still hunting that dream.

You can't bubble-wrap a quarterback.

It could have been worse: he could have not hurt anything at a Nickelback concert.

Missing one step isn't all that bad. Patrick Kane missed all 12 of them.

What's the big deal? Most Michigan men are unemployed.

The kids today, they listen to the rap music instead of the JAZZ MU-SI-CIANS.

Don't pick on him. He can't go to the tailor because he gets traumatized every time he sees someone measure something.

an adult necktie

strap

Adam...fam... just give her what she wants...trust me on this one bro..