Sports Guy Hunter

“Give me Grantland or give me death! - Jason Whitlock” - Jason Whitlock

A few of the 10% variety will knock you on your ass rather quickly. I submit myself from this past Saturday night as evidence.

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David Kaplan is a Grade-A dipshit.

I’d travel back to 1999 and plead with the Bears to pick literally anyone else other than Cade McNown...

I’d say that about Samardzija... A high-level D1 football player probably isn’t the weakest guy on a baseball field.

Jay was definitely a Clit Hero that day for sure.

Must not have wanted to cock block the 18 year old.

Is today “sick burn day” on Deadspin?

No, I cannot.

My Grandmother succumbed to cancer back in 2008 but on her way out, had my Aunt call my Mom on April Fools to tell her that she had passed. My Mom has not spoken to her sister since.

"Boobs!"

You'd know that Cristal doesn't even have the biggest boobs in the conversation if you've ever seen Matt Spiegel...

Bernstein is the epitome of a know-it-all asshole and I'm not alone in wishing that he is asked to take an extended vacation from 670.

Kessel's angry face

A few months ago when I plugged in my oh-so-carefully preserved NES and fired up Contra, my son played for all of about 30 seconds before he proclaimed that "this is boring".

Not pictured: New Astros amphetamine health and wellness consultant, Jake Roberts.

It kind of looks like a dick... and it's pointing towards his mouth... oh no.