You know what I like? Online shopping. Yeah, online shopping is good.

You know you done fucked up when your own mother is happy you weren't home for Thanksgiving.

Dear Moms of All Politicians Everywhere,

DID YOU GUYS PLAN THIS.

For all the dead ppl

Hi, guys. So... I don't really know where to post this, and I didn't want to be obnoxious - but a few days ago, I was talking to Adultosaur about Taylor Swift (as one does), and she shared that she wouldn't be able to afford a ticket to Taylor's tour, and that made me really sad... So I started a goFundMe for her. …

Team Cat Headquarters here,

What about this gem of a commercial from Australia

She's cute, but this baby wins for feeling it.

My dance moves are to "Push it". Which I do. Real good.

Then you will enjoy this song by a friend of mine from about 1992 or so. Sounds like things haven't changed too much.

BUT THINGS. WE NEEDS THEM, PRECIOUS.

Hands up: who skipped the video and went right to the comments?

Ho Ho Ho!

For the benefit of all moms, future moms, and happily child-free friends of moms, I will share the words of my amazing pediatrician when it became clear that breastfeeding was not going to work for me and my son despite my increasingly frantic efforts:

Gawd, and I thought I was pissed when a woman who walked by me while I was buying "curbside" strawberries (from a field hand who drove to a snotty/hippy Marin county town to sell them) barked at me, "THEY ARE NOT LOCAL, NOT ORGANIC AND INEDIBLE." Uh, I'll decide what toxic shit to put in my body, but thanks for your…

I'm sorry but am I reading this correctly? A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL advised her that milk would come out OF HER ARMPITS??!! This issue has now jumped the shark and I think we can all go home because we're clearly done here.

I'm genuinely sad that the McDonald's near me is so terrible, because instead of tasting like delicious guilt, it just tastes like sadness and feet.

Are you fucking kidding me?????