While I appreciate a good cupping, this is what’s wrong with the world now.

My wife owns a coffee shop. Usually a couple times a week her first words to me, when I pick her up, are “I fucking hate people.”

In college, i lived in a 4-person room (it had two bunk beds) with two other people. So I slept on one of the top bunks but made the bottom one my fort. It was amazing. I would just hide in there and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer all the time.

Actually, the only violence or degradation I engage in are done safely, sanely and consensually, and I am always the giver, and never the recipient.

Also, that costs extra.

Oh, there you are. I wondered when you’d show up. Thanks for illustrating so perfectly what I said above, to whit:

On Monday, I was having an especially hard morning (my boss/close friend got an awesome new job in another state and announced that she’s leaving in a month). So my husband drove me to get an iced tea while I cried in the car. As we are pulling away from the coffee hut, he sez “I’m not trying to start a fight or…

My workplace tried to institute something like this (charmingly titled after that delightful program The Biggest Loser), and my asshole coworker promptly volunteered to be “captain.” I went straight to the head of my department and told her that said coworker already had a pattern of harassing me about my weight and…

Did you politely tell her to go fuck herself?

I wore a bikini for the first time in my life two years ago. I had never worn one, because of all of the shame I’d felt for having a yo-yo body (from average-to-fat and back again) all my life. Then I saw this rainbow bikini, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to wear it. And I decided that haters may hate, but in…

Fat AND happy here. I’m just a few years and a few pounds more than you. I love fashion and have clothing, shoes, and accessories that I love and tend to err to the side of “dressy” in most situations. I love to wear makeup and try out new hairstyles. I am also pretty outgoing and a performer. My skinny to average…

Now several young brides from Kilkenny

This seems like a way more Irish solution.

Dave Foley was still pretty in 2010 when they did “Death Comes to Town.” He was the prettiest Kid, for sure.

OT- but Dave Foley was so, so pretty in the 90s

FACE SHAVERS UNITE!

Regarding that “God *will* judge”. Here’s a copy paste from to-know-javale post on Gawker’s post on this issue.

This seems like as good a time as any to post this classic, which will never not make me smile.

a hundred thousand million bazillion points for your screen name.

Tbh, it’s not really a problem in restaurants (the pieces of tomato are either large enough to just pick off if they fuck it up, or it’s not something I can order anyway), but if I’m at a cookout or dinner party or whatever, the conversation is always

If you projectile vomit all over a restaurant, you should ask them for a wafer-thin mint before you leave.