No makeup now; no makeup ever again. This is my face, universe. Like or lump it.

If they sized that to fit my boobs, it would be $50 million.

Those of us with IBS have to suffer alone. We are doomed. DOOMED I SAY!!!

I definitely read some of these in the voice of Kristen Schaal.

I'm always glad when stuff like this makes the news, and the companies I tell everyone else to boycott actually gets boycotted! Screw Hobby Lobby and their AHCA exemptions, too.

Some megachurch in the hinterland going all Heaven's Gate?

So I guess the answer to the question "Is our children learning" is "no, they am not."

I thought dental floss was one of those things you never buy because by the time you run out of one package (honestly who even flosses every day!) you have another two free ones from the dentist.

All true. However, if we're really in the business of putting the onus on women to raise children, where do men fit? Do they get to fuck and leave b/c that's what you're implying: that men hold no further responsibility beyond getting their dicks wet. After that, LOL women! Figure that shit out. It's an interesting,…

These so-called moderates never want to get into the details of how their positions work out in the world. They take a nebulous idea, less government or moderation, and run with it. When asked for details they refuse, instead opting to stick with their pre-packaged talking points about how it's everyone elses fault…

Oh, it gets better. The plan they hate so much was their idea from 20+ years ago.

Obama gave a speech last week about the ACA, and Rachel Maddow played a clip. My husband and I could not stop laughing at one point - he goes, "well, when it works, I guarantee they won't still be calling it Obamacare."

The other day I read a reader's complaint that went, "Why did Obama name that healthcare thing after himself? Is he a dictator or something?"

Um..she was "Psycho"? Sounds like she was just smarter than your dad, who thought he could buy a much younger woman than he would be able to get if not for her desire for US citizenship.

Hey, don't discriminate. Everyone should stay away from Louisiana.

That peacock is fucking majestic as shit.

They literally had binders full of women that they asked to speak.

I'm craving a frappuccino now!

For whatever reason, this made me laugh out loud. For real laugh out loud.