Mine is:

I am a pilot...so close enough?

I'm a woman who is just a tad under 6'2....I'm already a giant woman :D

My ex called them 'lady plugs' and it stuck. Guys are weird.

Different brands are made differently and breasts are also shaped differently. A brand that fits my friend well makes my boobs look like torpedos and shoves them under my armpits. My two favorite bras are two different sizes and two different brands, one's a 34G and the other is a 36H and they both fit me superbly. …

My brother had to buy me my own deodorant because I kept 'borrowing' his Old Spice. He would lean over, sniff me and then get this pissed off look on his face when he smelled his deodorant on me :D

I fairly recently had a friend refer to her period as 'shark week' because it's bloody and bitey and that made me so happy for some odd reason.

I managed a 'quicky mart/gas station' for a while in my early 20s and condoms were basically our #1 shrink item. They wanted me to put them in a locked cabinet behind the counter but I always managed to sneak a few packs into the health/beauty area because I'd rather kids be safe than lose the store a few bucks. I…

In the last 6 months or so the amount of 'OMG it just feels so great to get out there and RUN!' posts have increased exponentially. Meanwhile, I'm like 'I just paid to have my groceries delivered because I'm too lazy to walk a mile to the store'.

I've had a few FB friend requests from people who tormented me throughout Jr. High and High School. Each time I've sent a simple message that just said 'Nope. Just nope' and that was it. Request denied. I don't need that BS in my life. The one time I did accept, thinking that the girl who spit gum in my hair had…

You can add 'marathons and triathalons' to that as well for me.

The last three weddings I was invited to but couldn't attend (hooray for moving across the country!) all had 'vintage picture frames hanging from trees with ribbon' that people could stand in and take pictures. If I ever get married, there will be no wedding.

(although I did learn some disturbing lessons about how our value is attractiveness-based when I lost 75 pounds back in the day).

I fucking love pink, and I'm a big 6'1 tall scary lady aircraft mechanic who has a bright ass pink tool box to keep my kick ass tools in. It took me a really long time to get over my fear of that color because I didn't want to be associated with anything too feminine or too 'girly' and once I realized that shit like…

From what I've experienced talking with my male friends, the ability to have children (and sire many of them, even if they don't actually do it) is directly tied to their masculinity and being 'a man'. They consider vasectomies or even being tied to taking a daily pill to be some sort of blow to being a man.

Yeah. I just think it's ridiculous to expect a gift when I didn't ask to be invited to the wedding in the first place. I wish I could just send out birthday/graduation/whatever announcements to random people and demand gifts in exchange for it.

When I was living in CA (though not LA, but the central coast area...uber expensive) me and a few people were living in a house that kept threatening to burn down (old electrical wiring that kept sparking) so I was helping one of my roommates find a place.

I think you'd be surprised...I've had conversations with a few people who complained that people didn't have the 'common decency' to send a gift of some sort even if they couldn't come. Comments like that really made me feel uncomfortable and like I was obligated to send something even if I couldn't attend. The last…

THIS. I don't even have a twitter and think the general concept is absolutely stupid. So, does that mean that I'm constantly in twitter silence? That I'm always in solidarity with those around me? If they really wanted to make a point maybe they should delete their accounts and quit being so narcissistic.

Yep. I was working as a mechanic and guys that were hired after me (with less qualifications, certificates and licenses) were getting paid more than I was....by A LOT. The only reason I found out is because they were handing out pay stubs and I accidentally got one of one of my coworkers and I never look at the name…