Similar to the bloody nose I got while trying to bring all of the groceries in from the car in one trip.

Yep. Keep denying until you are fired and then do a tearful interview on ESPN with Dick Vitale or Jay Bilas 6 months later saying you are sorry.

The UNC fan jubilation followed by complete disappointment seconds later is equally satisfying every time I watch the video.

“Isaac Newton? It’s CAM Newton.”

I’m sorry, is he trying to imply that you can spend your money on other things besides alcohol? I’m calling bullshit.

Thoughts and prayers

because it wasn’t relevant to the situation, because it feels like a gotcha type of shit where they’re trying to catch people off guard, because it was settled privately and he wants to keep it private, because it’s in the past and as far as you know he’s already made up for it or maybe he hasn’t who knows

i mean,…

because social media has made us entitled little assholes, myself included, and we expect to be pandered to for the dopamine hit.

Most asshats can barely drive a regular car! Flying cars? No thank you.

Am I the only one here who doesn’t give a flying fuck about flying cars? I mean I am not against looking forward to the next big technological progress but this seems like a futile exercise.

I thought true Minnesotans played baskiceball. Or has fictional TV lied to me once again?

When will bald-shaming be treated with the same seriousness as fat-shaming, racism, and other types of fascism!?

2ndFastestDerby definitely fucks horses.

You could just have a headline that says “Draymond Green is a dick” and post it every day and it would be true most of the time.

The free samples are precisely why I hate going to Costco. I want to get the shit I need and leave. I don’t want to spend and extra 20 minutes doing it because of all the assholes who swarm the free samples and block the goddamn aisles with their shopping carts

I only sit on buses or trains if they’re pretty empty, as soon as they begin to fill up I stand.

Yeah, God forbid someone have different tastebuds than you!

Different people like different beverages. Crazy world this is.