Damnit! You figured out our secret! That "bless your heart" is the biggest politely delivered insult ever.

What exactly is so hilarious about manners? Or being nice, friendly, and sociable?

I don't think you quite understand. Do they not teach reading comprehension in rural Ohio? I think they do, because I have several friends from the buckeye state and they're all pretty good at critical thinking.

1. Oh, I'm sorry, let me use vernacular you'll better understand: you must be an urban resident (now look who's being dramatic about someone using a turn of phrase that just happens to be different).

It's not dramatic at all, actually. I'm taking it you're a city boy. Does the sound of crickets, cicadas, and bullfrogs filling the night frighten you?

I'm thinking NYC was mentioned since that's where gawker headquarters is...

Exactly! I'm from Texas, and there's NOTHING more beautiful than big sky country. Seeing an urban jungle where few stars can shine through all the light pollution is my idea of torture.

Can you come to my house and make me some of your breakfast, too? That looks delish!

Just prune your flowers off. The flavor of the leaves change because your plant starts focusing on procreating and diverting its energy to the flowers. Trim the flowers off and the energy keeps getting spent on the leaves.

It happened to your friend and YOU'VE never had pesto since? Why? Why Ron yourself of the nirvana that is pesto? That's taking solidarity too far.

Weird? No way, man! Butter whipped with honey and slathered on a hot hunk of bread is awesome!

They're too sweet and kind of waxy. I can't stand them in pesto.

Oh yeah, had plenty of those. Water, Gatorade, powerade. Reusable, disposable. I'm also a sucker for sweet tea (this is Texas... It's in the handbook they give you at birth... Along with a ten gallon hat and cowboy boots). On really busy weeks my car would look like I was really interested in recycling, but really bad…

Rock on! I like zippy cars, but man, I couldn't live without a cup holder. Between the miles I was putting on my car every month (around 4,000/mo), the intense heat where I live, and working on the go, I needed the hydration, lol.

O, Canada!

You just made my day. Thank you.

Do you drive one of those smart cars? I was thinking of getting one last year when I was car shopping, but when the car salesman took me to a coffee house during the test drive and we noticed there were no cup holders, that kinda killed it for me. That and how the fuel economy was lower and the price was higher than…

And when you live in Texas, that lunchtime drive is just a quick 300 miles. Lol.

We will drink coffee wherever and whenever we damn well please! This is America!! We had a big, giant ole tea party in Boston Harbor and revolted against our monarch specifically so we could enjoy our coffee, dagnammit!

Beat eggs into bowel? Well, shit, what'd your duodenum do to deserve that?