When I was a kid, I thought these Astros uniforms were the coolest things ever, hehe.

My proctologist just removed two ghastly emricks from my backside.

Who said Kluwe was involved? Oh wait, my mistake, he's a punter. Stupid cunt punters!

Yah, cmon guyz, stick to sprots! MOAR TEWBOW! Maybe Tewbow have career as bear killer! He have nothing to loose. Except his face, he could lose face to bear maw. Bear mawling could result in Tewbow no having face. Mebbe he could teach bears to do the Tewbow, AMIRITE????

I like how the followup question to Gasol's "Wolf" comment is, "Not even in the moment of satisfaction?"

The simple answer is no. It's a break-even. The Lakers knew they were getting an older, more mature player in exchange for a younger, inexperienced player. An inexperienced player did them little good back then, and the Grizzlies wanted a younger guy with potential who could be good down the road. In other words, one…

Ahhh, I'm guessing that's the skydiving place in Marana?

Hey, they've been zappin' each others' pooters on that show fer awhile now - AMIRITE???

Legit question: who is that photo of? Shaughnessy or Werner? I don't know what either look like.

Re: "There's nothing wrong with Werner's premise here — Shaughnessy's a hack ..."

I think he does this in an evil lair, surrounded by 1970s shag carpeting, mood lighting, lava lamps, and Vincent Price.

I dunno about you guys, but I gotta let loose a Shivablast (#77) or two.

"Hey New Yorkers! What are you doing in approximately one hour?"

That would explain the expressions of discomfort seen in most trial court morning sessions, as most start the docket a little after 9 a.m.

Just after sitting down, Phyllis jumped from her seat and placed her lips over Tobias’s nose and began sucking. She was searching for cocaine residue.

Thanks Obama.

Suggestion: In all future headlines regarding Captain Asshole, please refer to him as:

"I cannot tell you the vicious STDs I have contracted rolling around down there."

WE-AH ALWAYS PAYH ATTENTIUN BECAUSE DAH BAH-STAN FANS EHR BETTAH THAN YOUHRS. CHOWDAHHHHHH! CHOWDAAHHHHH!

According to reports, the incident occurred after Mr. Tamas made an ill-advised comment about Mr. Marriotti's shoes.