My mom cut a big clunk out of her finger when she was using the new knives to cut veggies. She didn’t know how sharp they were. My aunt had to finish while we tried to stop the bleeding. As she was cutting the veggies she smiled and said, “This knife cuts very good.”

I had a friend who REALLY loved wasabi. Whenever we went for sushi, they’d keep giving him more as he could cheerfully eat it straight.

Exactly! My husband can bench that and said if the officer was that sure of her “disruptive” behavior he should have carried her and the damn desk out side. This man was pissed at the rude black woman not just listening to him.

If dude could bench 600, he could have picked her up in her desk and carried the whole thing out.

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

Someone get Jodi Picoult on this. The novel writes itself.

I used to teach elementary art in a really low-income school district near Denver. One student, Franklin, was a third-grader who was homeless and living in a car with his mother at the time. The district and social services were aware and helping as much as possible, but mom was hard to work with due to some ongoing…

Bless my soul have I got a story!

I love this story. It’s the Canadianest camp story ever. Throw in canoeing on the lake and sighting a beaver and you’ve got yourself an Atwood short story. Provided the young camper ended up working in Toronto and thought of that racoon while dating her first boyfriend, years and years later.

I spent three of the best summers of my life working at a little scout camp in Eastern Ontario, just outside of Perth. I have literally dozens of stories from it (I’ve already told two here) but this is my favourite:

We had a HUGE raccoon population around the camp. Big families that would get into gang fights at…

i went to mormon girls camp with my mormon cousins (and the rest of my catholic cousins, who were staying with the mormons for a while). we were doing a ropes course and i was way too tall for it, so i was already really off kilter. a bug flew at my face and i said ‘JESUS CHRIST’ and everyone looked at me aghast and i…

Is the answer amphetamines?

“Do you make your sandwiches with bread?”

My boob.

HEY THAT’S ME! I MADE THAT! True life, I cried a little bit when I got it in the mail, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen my father look at me with such pride.

At one point, reporter Mario Boone, who I can only assume drinks to forget his day job, says “listen again” then plays us the smoking gun: a beeping noise.

The science of this comment checks out. With elders who’ve entered what we call “benign senescence” behaviors the elder previous kept “in private” often show up in public settings via the process called disinhibition. Basically, if the elder used to be a secret rat bastard to servers, they’re now going to be a rat…

“What kind of place serves terrible pizza and breakfast, and has an elderly clientele?”

Hell. Your server worked in Hell.

The smell story made my day!

As a mentally ill person I want to bake this woman an amazing cake. This man is not mentally ill, and that would just be a way for Fox and even progressive outlets to ignore the changes and evolution that has occurred in American racism.