One can only hope this COTD resonates with anyone who starts off their comment with “______ car is way better because it’s faster and cheaper” or “people who drive ______ are dumbasses because they should have bought ______”.

Apparently you weren't paying attention. As McParland has pointed out, plaid seats are awesome.

Guys don't dump friends, they just fade away. That way, who knows, down the road your interests might converge and you're friends again. It's a very elastic concept.

My girlfriend once asked me if it was a problem that white smoke was pouring out of her car. I told her that it was no big deal, it just means they haven't chosen a new pope yet.

I'm still trying to figure this one out.

HE'S OVER 9000!!!!

They forgot this logo at the end.

The homeopathy reference is good for this. This is like using homeopathic fuel.

Quattro got up early that morning. Something felt different, but it all started the way it always did. As the sky started getting pale in the East, he cleared the morning dew off of his headlights with a sweep of his wipers. His V8 fired, coughed, and roared to life. As the sun broke over the cornfields, he took a…

Put a bird on it!

Your arrogance is make me furious!!!

It's an advanced theoretical system called Schrodinger's drivetrain. It is both 4wd and not-4wd simultaneously, with the number of wheels being driven being a hypothetical condition dependent on the outcome of a previous random event. In this case, unfortunately, that random event is "the vehicle was built by…