I usually don’t clap after like 20 seconds. Then I just stand for a bit...then sit. It’s really no wonder that people don’t like me.

wait, what? That’s fun! I’m going to stick this into my brain as the actual ending and just pretend it is true.

it seemed to happen at the same time that everyone at Deadspin quit en masse. so maybe the events were related?

Whoa. The first comment is 1. a sports related comment, & 2. not about the headline story. Deadspin, this is a cry for help to reopen your comment section. You’re readers are stuck shifting through Kardashian drama to get to the Brady drama!

I mean, it was the 1990s, grunge and heroin chic were a thing, so perhaps this would have fit?

It could have been Luv Gravy.

It is gross, but therein lies the quest for fame. I mean out of any sound byte that you are going to drop that disgusting MILF one is going to stick. And this woman is apparently game. It seems like a very Kris Jenner approach.

that’s true. it is an area related to the preparation and serving of food.

I’m glad my death will contribute to advancing the story line. It won’t be like Paris Hilton’s death in that early aughts House of Wax remake.

Rustic makes me think that I’ll probably need a tetanus shot when I leave. Or that lead paint dust is likely in the air.

yeah I know some people with a butler’s pantry in their house too. it was super cool...but narrow. I think “pantry” is generous. Or at least in this case, but I also live in New England and I feel like we take lots of words to describe things that aren’t really what they originally were used to identify. For example,…

At least Lucas made up a couple new planets for things to be set in.

yeah these are all bad words...but I am totally that guy at the beginning of a horror movie whose just moves in without care. but I am also the guy who immediately gets scared and dies in some self inflicted panic accident.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Demi Lovato did something again. Anyway, back to the shirtless pictures of Andrew Garfield! That man is just so hot. Yes, I’m a grown ass adult man, but dude! Alright...back to work.

Everyone has seen Tommy Lee’s dick already. There was a whole film of it. Then there was recently a film about the film of it. No one cares about it anymore.

But think of the frogs. They don’t deserve that! Can we just put him on Mars? Or randomly in space?

So if fecal matter stays in the air, should anyone actually eat that fruit? Oh, wait, those two don’t eat actual food, right?

Which is weird because this kind of comment makes me think they likely bought DT Jr’s “Triggered”. (I’ll spare everyone the book cover.)

I have no idea if this is supposed to be trolling, but I am hopeful it isn’t because I find this freaking hilarious.

This Dirt Bag lead is just the media plot arc of Marry Me, the movie I decided to watch this past weekend. Both are dumb: