Said "kid" is "entitled" to whatever "daddy" can afford. Done and done.

When I was living in the Cities, my roommate called me at like 2.30am to tell me she'd hit a deer in Menominee and could I please send my then-boyfriend to go get her?

OMG squeaky cheese curds! So much love do I have. (I used to live in the Twin Cities, and "cheese curds" was the best reason anyone ever gave me for crossing the river.)

Nope, because that's not the way it works. The metaphorical gander has exactly one opportunity to NOT impregnate someone, they don't get to piss it away and then whine about it later. The metaphorical goose has somewhat more flexible options.

Perhaps I am in need of a sarcasm or irony font, or perhaps I need to just plain suck less. I just figure, it's cheap logic they might grasp, or what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Tip for you MRAs: Don't stick your dick in it if you don't want the possibility of being saddled to it for the rest of your life in the form of court-mandated child support. OR, take responsibility for your own fertility and get snipped.

She was pretty awesome, yeah. She passed away when I was 19, and it's taken me ... longer than I'd like to fully process the complexity of our relationship. It wasn't always great, but she did do some stuff right.

None of them asked to be born to such a nutter. :(

My therapist does this to me when she's proud of me. Seriously.

That's never stopped anyone before!

Sounds kinda tasty, actually!

I'd much rather get drunk with Tina and Amy than Taylor...

Oh no, not some rando on the internet calling someone a bitch!

I've decided I'd like to try for an eventual Mini Simon running around... But I could never look that amazing while pregnant. ;)

/b/ isn't exactly known for their thoughtful discourse.

My mom got pregnant with my older sister when she was 16. This show wasn't on when I was a teenager, but my mother at least learned from her own experience. Her own mother was tight-lipped about uncomfortable topics, so she got me on the pill early (thanks, PCOS) and made sure I had a steady supply of condoms.…

And just remember, in that prison thread, don't do the crime if you can't do the time! Unless you're rich and white and can get off.

I did, in fact, take a break for a while. I've come back with a brand-new bottle of "fuckitol", though, so I should be good to go for a while! :D

Back in the day, followed posters could rec and then un-rec a comment to force it gray. I just tried it, but since they fuck around with Kinja every three and a half minutes I'm not sure it worked.

I liked it when I was a kid. My yogurt crack these days is Greek Gods honey yogurt. So good!