I have learned something tonight, so at least I can take that away from this otherwise depressing story: Lies of omission to your doctor are the best lies, because he might think you are lying if you tell him the truth and then he will tattle on you and you will be locked up like an animal because who cares about your…

Sorry not sorry, Dr. Breckenridge, but you will never be my appointed Ob/Gyn within this lifetime.

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Then they should rethink, since a wet dick is not a sign of male arousal. It's a sign of female arousal gettin' all over that thing.

A greased up dick in a picture looks way too much like it just came out of someone else's vagina. Perhaps they do this for the same reason they like to put pics up of themselves with an attractive woman partially cropped out? Just so we'll all think that this one time they did get to penis an actual woman and also…

i want you to have more respect for your cock, & i want you to have more respect for the recipients of your dick pics.

The one next to the beer bottle was lubed up within an inch of it's life.

Best GIF I've ever seen!

As a straight male comic boom geek, I find you to be an absolute douchebag.
I get the character, and that's not the point. I also get Batwoman, and love JH Williams III as an artist, and I get why DC is on a real roll of fucking up. And these two instances (in one week!) are just the tip of the iceberg. Pure,…

That. cat. is. beautiful. Someone let me pet that cat. It will make my life.

Lindy, the cat in the mirror is my spirit animal tonight. Thank you.

Drunk.

Perhaps this is off the topic, but has anyone ever heard of a worse name than Robin Thicke??? Why didn't he change his name to something better, more seductive, like Johnny Sweetshlong? I want to fuck Johnny Sweetshlong. I want to give my Dairy Queen order to Robin Thicke.

She's been my rock, my muse, my inspiration and I love her.

I find this reprehensible but as a starving artist I still submitted for this contest. Here is what i did for:

I'm not "outraged" about John Legend's comment—I just think the ever-expanding checklist of what women are "supposed" to be is worth keeping an eye on and thinking critically about. I have smart, liberal male friends who literally say shit like, "I just need to date, like, a supermodel with a PhD." OH, OKAY THEN.

Can we talk about WTF is this guy doing?

Approves.

I can tell you that person would have gone down if they said that to me. I am not nice to rude people. Not nice at all. I have a way with words too, so I usually come out the winner.