I laughed so loud, I woke my dogs.

I will admit to cross stitching a few quotes that I love.

“It’s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.”

“Maybe we’d cut down fewer trees if they screamed like people. Unless they did it all the time, for no reason.”

If I see another wall decal that says LIVE LOVE LAUGH or a wooden cutout of the word “DREAM” in someone’s home I’m gonna scream.

It’s a constant stream of pitbull meme, pitbull meme, unattributed quote, bible verse, Gandhi quote, pitbull meme, unattributed quote, passive aggressive statement on my feed. Just. shut. the. fuck. up.

go home, Doc, you’re drunk.

-Jack Handey

Oz was like, my dream guy when I was younger. OKOK he’s still my dream guy but just like, minus the werewolf stuff.

I love using this terminology to refer to babies. My midwife described my newborn daughter as “fully cooked”. She was 8 days late.

“undercooked”

That's a super tiny baby. She was under six pounds when she was born. My son was 6 lbs 10 oz and he looked so tiny and undercooked. And Chanel is like a whole pound smaller.

Coco didn't need to buy one of those baby swings; the kid clearly fits in one cup of her bra.

I didn’t realize how tiny Chanel was until I saw this photo. Good lord, babies are wee.

Treat yourself. Do not return that scarf. You need a little happiness too. This is a sign.
I always get buyers remorse when I treat myself (and I never do) so I’m really hoping you keep the scarf :)

Second trimester horniness is so real.

Never been pregnant myself, but I’ve been told that you’re super fatigued in the 1st trimester, but very energetic (and often very horny) in the 2nd. It’s the hormones.

Once, during my first pregnancy, I got tired from eating breakfast. I literally had to take a nap.

Right?? I know people have strong feelings about Anne, I never have, but reading that made me yell “SHUT UP, ANNE!” as I eat breakfast and wonder if it’s too soon for a nap.