Why aren’t the house centipedes that start showing up in my apartment every summer classified yet as a hate group? Those fuckers bite.

At first I thought it said “proud-of-its-buttholes” and I was like, calm down some of us have pretty buttholes.

I’m afraid that’s not sufficient. We’re going to need Spock for this job:

“I think I just pooped a little”

I think I'm just gonna risk it, run up on stage and give him a noogie so we can all get to the bottom of what's going on with his fucking hair.

Canadian?

I’ll bet it smells like weed and patchouli.

Or... Maybe women shouldn’t be pigeonholed about their age and the company they keep? I mean, maybe they have things to talk about. Like, what if they like each other... Crazy, I know.

The Rose McGowan thing was back in 1998, too, back when young pop stars were still doing shit like publicly promising to be virgins until they were married. She has my respect.

I’m a big proponent in (and it sounds borderline conspiracy theory/state’s rights) the whole olfactory and pheromone thing for attractiveness. Sexy guys just smell better.

I’d feel better if a) most of my friends weren’t in the bridal party so I had someone to stick to, and b) I didn’t know that one of the people going is someone who kinda massively hates me and I’m worried we’ll end up having a knife fight in the car park and I don’t know what shoes to wear to a knife fight.

Do not give up on this fight. The NRA wants you to believe it is impossible. It is not.

You know, I think it actually would help her a lot if she went to a community college or a university or something and took classes about this shit. If she had to study it and write papers, maybe she’d learn.

Honestly, I will never believe that anyone who grew up in Boot Scootin Boogie and Hannah Montana money will ever have the most basic sense of how the other 99% live.

She talks like a popular girl who’s tryna fool everyone into thinking she’s real people. I REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID AT PROM, BECKY, I’M NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THAT YOU’RE A GOOD PERSON.

OMG MILEY. Are you literally an idiot?

That pic of Amy and J.K. Simmons!! Not shade in any possible direction, but I love it.