this is my cat Lisa. On the right is a brand-new, soft and fuzzy kitty bed. On the left is the amazon delivery box.

I got mad deals on ginseng though

Ah, got it.

Wait, what?

Ah, this is beginning to make sense. I have a coworker who is an anti-vaxxer and she's a big fan of Ron Paul, so she must get info from this dumbass too. I hate-read her Facebook posts about vaccinations: she wonders if vaccinations caused her scoliosis.

Yes, I remember that! They were early to the sheer gel blush game. I used it like a stain on my lips, too! Oh, and they had a gel bronzer that was pretty awesome also.

"Why don't you jam the most sensitive part of your body into a tight fitted pouch and see how you fucking like it bitch."

yeah but why does she have numbers on her forehead tho

Never really worked on me. I've been buying "lip plumpers" for years because I a.) have always wanted fuller lips and b.) I am a sucker. I remember buying one made by The Balm in the late 90s.

Wait, what?

Doooo it! I bought a few Liz Lange Maternity camisoles at Target when I was pregz and I've just kept wearing them. They're really long, and slim-fit, with a ridiculous amount of stretch. Soooo comfy and no more midriff/lower back exposure!

Holy shit this is gorgeous and amazing and I love you.

Oh hi, fellow freakishly long torso-haver!

dude, butt wipes. They keep me fresh as a daisy on days I don't shower.

Noooo I love Ben Gibbard

Or if you work 3 jobs to make ends meet and you have no time or energy to cook.

Eh, when I was pregnant I would lay on my back all the time. My doctor said it was fine, as long as I felt physically comfortable.

Wow, you're a jerk.