No! No! No! These would be appropriate gifts for employees, not the boss. I have a few direct reports, and if anyone bought me a gift, it would be extremely uncomfortable. If your boss expects a gift, your boss is an asshole.

Don’t buy a gift for your boss. Gifts at work are weird, and if they’re going to be done at all, should really only flow downward.

B... Becky?

Hate and fear killed his wife. Not sure why he’d want to perpetuate the cycle.

I’d rather be able to read Jane Austen for free and ignore the derivative shit than having to pay to read an author who’s been dead for 250 years so someone who did nothing for the creation of her works could profit.

Most embarrassing time I burst into tears: that one time I had a breakdown at the top of the leaning tower of Pisa, and instead of being helpful my family decided to laugh take pictures of me with the highly uncomfortable tour guide.

Uh, I think you need to find a better botoxer, someone with a lighter touch, because clearly they’ve overdone it on your lovely face. I’ve been getting botox injections in my forehead 2x year for almost 5 years, and I can still squint, scowl, frown, even furl my brow. In fact, the whole wide range of emotions still…

Hey man.

Everybody pukes.
Everybody cries.
Everybody puuuuuukes.
Sooooooometimes.

1. wha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-tttttttttttttttt

I once lost a lot of weight, and a very smart friend asked first, “Hey, you’ve lost weight. How are you feeling?” So I could say “jeez, I’m sick and I dropped this weight because I can’t eat a fucking thing” or “I’ve been working at it and I feel fantastic!”

Wait. Social Media isn’t real? Young lady, that baked chicken & rice dish I posted last night was real and it was goddamn delicious!

Let’s be fair here. I studied archaeology in school and have worked on several digs, so I am coming from a place of some knowledge. And I’m afraid that I have to agree that having an all-female team *had* to have been a publicity stunt of some sort, and does in fact lead to some questions about the validity of their…

I feel like I’m probably one of 3 people on the planet who can not stand Australian accents. Every single word in the English language does not need to be turned into slang/shortened to a single syllable.

Why did you put a dead rat in your wall?

Anyone who has spent any time in Wisconsin knows that you can never have too much cheese. In my shiny new fridge there is an entire large drawer dedicated to cheese. Sometimes I’ll have 7-8 different kinds in there.

Two rich white women take a leisurely stroll through the mountains on their horses? Hold the presses. Or stop the presses. Just do something other than writing this article.

Since men are doing all the raping, why not have a curfew for men instead?