Get with the times, Nick. The "Schiavo shag" was so 2005.

Probably a farticle floating around in that recycled air.

Just wait for the American version of this show, "Early Onset Diabetes with Ryder Fieri."

This is much better then the new ESPN show where Stephen A. Smith's son discusses which girls "were totally asking for cooties" on the playground.

♫ It's not unusual...ok maybe a little unusual. ♫

Fantasy owners take note as this brings his projected yards rushed down from 640 to 560.

[Ray and Janay Rice walk into the commissioners office to find Goodell sitting in a large ornate chair]

At least Ray Rice isn't a distraction!

They must have been Turkish. I've never heard of an Austrian trying to harm Jews.

Piffle. I don't like using something that has no other purpose than to cause someone pain.

Man, you ain't got a gay dogfighting league. You're just gay dogfishing us.

God bless whoever invented the sphere.

"Look at those dogs rassle!"

With cross-dressing sideline reporters and pansexual amoralist fan interviewers??

Remember kids, you can't spell "Tony Dungy is a close-minded homophobe, a two-faced situational liar, and a conveniently pious hypocrite" without "Tony Dungy."

I heard that they have not made any decisions regarding relocation and that the group still needs to mullet over.

Jesus, this aircraft isn't any more accessible than MH370.

Man? woman? It doesn't matter - your neighbor Gary will still *not* shut up about The Wire.

"Are we going to a club?"

This guy's given me a hell of an idea. Keep a watch out for my "Miami Dolphins 2 _ _ _ Super Bowl Champions" tattoo.