You would expect a high shot from a team managed by Rob Ford.

The American Dairy Association is starting to regret hiring Darren Aronofsky to run their new ad campaign.

now I'll never be able to walk past the dairy section without getting an erection :(

If those are the best photos, I'd hate to see the wurst.

Looks like he's gotten a little pail in the offseason.

Oh Tim, you're so naive. The Cavs, LeBron's former team, got the 1st pick. The Heat, Lebron's current team, got the 26th pick. 1-26? Do I have to spell it out for you? It's the number of letters in the alphabet. Now, let's break down that word, "alphabet." Al, a popular name. Pha, a phonetic spelling of a…

"The same people who historically tell you that there were racial lynchings were the same people who lynched this guy! Metaphorically."

Leave cows out of this.

Hemingway destroyed chumps in six words.

He's certainly not the John, Paul or George of the rap game, said the guy who can't believe he's weighing in.

I am so outraged I am now against Macklemore and his message of marriage equality.

Wannabes.

RIP Wesley

For cup-wearing catchers, that's not a eunuch experience.

It gets worse: that's not even pig poop.

we hear

This isn't what I come to DadPenis for.

You can tell it's in Australia because the kid spun counter clockwise.

I think the point is, when I hang out on Jezebel or Gawker I do not give a flying tamale about election results ... in India or anywhere else. I'm 63 years old. I've already consumed enough shitty, frustrating political news to last ten lifetimes. Sometimes you'd just rather read about Jay-Z shopping for jewelry.…

Poor guy, he just wanted to experience the feeling of someone in Mets gear actually rounding the bases.