I am so outraged I am now against Macklemore and his message of marriage equality.

Wannabes.

RIP Wesley

For cup-wearing catchers, that's not a eunuch experience.

It gets worse: that's not even pig poop.

we hear

This isn't what I come to DadPenis for.

You can tell it's in Australia because the kid spun counter clockwise.

"You've just spent a considerable amount of time being incredible rude and profane to someone you don't even know. I would ask you what's wrong with you but I don't even know you and it's not very nice making assumptions about people."

I think the point is, when I hang out on Jezebel or Gawker I do not give a flying tamale about election results ... in India or anywhere else. I'm 63 years old. I've already consumed enough shitty, frustrating political news to last ten lifetimes. Sometimes you'd just rather read about Jay-Z shopping for jewelry.…

Poor guy, he just wanted to experience the feeling of someone in Mets gear actually rounding the bases.

You're incredibly silly and you seem too lazy to get your news from more than one place.

Good luck topping the Bakersfield condor.

Okay, okay. I have a great joke. The cat is going to throw the pitch with his PAUSE!

The raccoon is actually the thing being thrown.

I mean, is he sure he took them?

?

It doesn't look like this guy submitted the proper handicap.

95% of my internet usage is "Search". I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.