Awww, she's an idiot. <3

That's bonkers! I do have a friend who's effected the same way by Benadryl, though.

I live on the edge.

Hanging on until it's the wee ones' bedtime — but I just took two Benadryl. BIG TIME MOM GAMBLING, you guys.

How many abused puppy stories do we need this morning? D: At least this one has a happy-ish ending. STOP IT WITH THE EVIL PUPPY HARMING, UNIVERSE. OH MY GOD.

I get the joke now. I didn't used to be this slow. I blame my fancy new bionic cervix.

We only found out when they were still working on me 20 minutes later and were like, "ummmm" — I was all starry eyed looking at my baby I just suddenly was, "HEY, I'm feeling kinda WOOZY..."

If you push, you're almost certainly going to poop on someone. The good news is, even though you THINK you're going to care, you're totally not going to care. And you're most likely not going to even know. :D

My epidural was fabulous. My vagina was a train wreck afterwards, but I didn't know! :D *cartwheels*

I was told after the fact that my cervix tore in a way that required "two feet of stitches" — I don't know if this was hyperbole or not.

In Texas we refer to these animals as denimalopes.

Wooly Willy?

LOL I must be having a bad day because I started crying.

Just hang it up, all other men. (Sorry, all other men.)

Gordon Ramsay would kick SUCH a trash can.

Yeah, I got IcyHot on my briznizz and that was the very definition of FRESH HELL. I probably should have rethought putting the stuff on my hip before sleeping in the buff. I blame the sheets and my own hubris.

I'm renaming Thursday "SHONDAY." I don't drink wine, but if I drank wine I'd be drinking SO MUCH WINE.

Yarr. I hate the sea and everything in it.

Nothing screams confidence like... well, like actual screaming, apparently. "Back away, not today, Disco Lady."

I like this show even more than my 3-year-old.