It's going to be super suspicious when this ship goes missing. Dun dun DUN!

I thought I scammed them good when I was 13 and mailing off cards with pseudonyms — that shit showed up on my credit report 15 years later. I had to begrudgingly pay them off to get my mortgage application square. Curses!

I'm new-ish to wrestling so I don't have the announcers down yet by voice — but which one is the one constantly dropping ASOIAF book references? That's delightful.

Silas is cute. I enjoy this trend of giving babies grandpa names. What weirds ME out is knowing that in 60 years, the old folks homes will be filled with Jaydens, Braydens, and Haydens...

The ElfQuest Archives re-coloring is sooooo deluxe. WHERE MY ELFQUEST PEEPS AT WOT WOT

Today is my 14th wedding anniversary. We didn’t really think things through, and have to explain, “No, really” whenever we tell people why we’re celebrating. It’s not a long con.

TEAM BRUCE! ...until such a time as he, himself, lets us know which pronoun he would rather us be using — and then TEAM BRUCE 2.0.

Thank you. ❤️

I diet and I diet and I diet, but mostly I just wish I was dead. I am continually and deeply disappointed in myself. And I never say these things out loud, so I just ramble on the Internet. Blah blah blah it never ends. Maybe if I just eat asparagus forever I'll find some self worth.

I just came to make sure Greg Land's name wasn't on here. :D

You have all of my sincerest sympathy. :(

My autocorrect suggested "TV of oatmeal" ....

I am a fairly bitchy person, but I wouldn't wish PUPPS on anyone. It's psychological torture — itching that feels like you're being stuck with needles all over, relentlessly, day and night. I couldn't sleep. Lying in a tub of oatmeal wash only made it hurt marginally less. My doctor told me that she wanted to wait…

I love you, Gwenny, but I had head-to-toe PUPPS rash and my hip joints got so soft and spongy they would dislocate. I cried in delirium for the entire last week of my pregnancy, naked and covered in strapped-on ice packs.

Oh, I definitely need to be watching this show.

There's nothing about Kerry that isn't wonderful. She seems like a very warm, real, beautiful, and accessible person with a strong mind and big heart. I think she's a good fit for this role. Yay!

Man, I wish I had lips. And was attractive. DERP.

Paper cuts! Paper cuts all around!

Bieber's such an aggravating piece of shit. I was trying to come up with a clever reply, but I just realized he's not worth it.

I harbor very specific resentments. :D